“Some say we find it in the darkest of nights
With no candle or light
To brighten up our life
Some say it’s in the normal of the day, the wonder
Other say it’s in the fear for the thunder
We’ll still survive
All I know is that I just don’t know
What made especially the ‘ow’ in ‘wow’
Some days it’s there
Other day it’s gone, and it feels like forever
Like it’s forever lost
Like I’m a ghost
Gone with the smallest wave of wind
Like one of a kind
Up in the sky
Feet steady on the ground
And my head, as always, dreamy in the clouds
I suggest my other half, my twin flame, burned out
And that’s really a big doubt
Surprise me with what you know
And with the smallest kind of effort I will laugh
But it’s not a real laugh, or honest
‘Dude, like most flowers bloom in august?’
I do not care for you, or you, or you
I’ll only be my honest, stupidest, evilest and truest self with him
But how many times I’ll burn myself
I even speak in rhymes to the books on my shelf
I do not learn
To the ends of the earth
I’ll take him
And sing the deadliest most beautifulest hymn
I destroy myself and sadly him too
And the sky colours pink blue
As both a blessing and message, sharp as knives
to those we will become in our next lives
All I have learnt is that I’m the sensitive one
I laugh, I cry, I live, I overthink, I overrun
I had always a connection with the spiritual kind of shit
And therefore I’m full of pit
I’m the conscious one
And that’s so hard, and wrong
While he’s drowning in a lake of darkness, unconscious
Knockouted on that head, gracious
Some say it’s in the silliness of uncontrolled laughter
Other says it’s in the power of only a few hours
Or wonder for one another
All I know is that hope and love are in our own damned hearts
In every hated and loved soul parts
And therefor I love him, ‘because he makes me feel
How to crash and how to heal
Every damn thing, hate, hope, everything in between
Because love and hope are the things that are felt not seen
And that makes our brains a mess,
And if our hearts win this battle, god bless
For those which are forever lost in this perpetual struggle of power
In a good environment of love and hope blooms even the darkest flower
All I know is that I still feel the difference between love and hate
And till the end I will spread and create
The light, not the dark, that I am and that I feel
And that’s the only way to fully heal.”
Geschreven op 18 juni 2020 "A raw mess"