Paper lanterns in her honour, am I haunted by her ghost because of our resemblance?
Drowning in fatigue from being mindless, I could walk until my feet bleed, guilt seeping into my pores with the sun. I am scared of hearing my thoughts on what I have become.
I'm not sure what is missing and what will be complete if an unspoken promise may be fulfilled. I think I will always have to deal with the aftermath of being unwanted, it is insidious and has trickled like poison into my psyche.
I never found that I was worthy of the chances given to me, nothing resonated with the lack of esteem I hold of myself. It is dangerous to live without a purpose, let alone the feeling of worthiness for being alive. This year different, I look to the future as a possibility, albeit daunting, rather than a punishment for having lived until now.